In my defense

We drove down to Baltimore Tuesday afternoon for my defense on Wednesday, stayed Thursday for my department seminar and for Dad's birthday, and Friday for more time with friends, then returned to Pittsburgh yesterday afternoon. Tomorrow I start work at Google.

The thesis defense was an interesting process. I had submitted my dissertation to the committee two weeks in advance to give them time to read it, and I had also prepared a one-hour presentation of my work that would double as my department seminar the following morning. Tuesday at noon Nicole and I arrived at the conference room designated as the defense venue and set up the laptop to display my Powerpoint presentation. The committee arrived, as did a few students, and I proceeded to give my talk. Whereas I had been anxious up to that point, as soon as I started talking that all evaporated quickly and I settled in.

The committee, consisting of my adviser and two other professors, asked a number of questions throughout the talk, and then yet more questions after I had finished. These were far more exploratory and less interrogating than I had anticipated. I attended several thesis defenses while I was a student, but I never bothered to put myself in the shoes of the candidate—I was more interested in understanding the work. So, I didn't have a good idea what to expect, but I thought I would have to defend some of my decisions. Instead, there were a lot of suggestions and some speculation about possible alternatives.

After a little more than two hours total, the committee sent us away so they could deliberate in private. They called me back into the room a few minutes later to congratulate me and suggest a few action items that would constitute completion of my Ph.D. Then Nicole, Rachel, and I, together with two other students who started with me, went to lunch.

Altogether, the whole process is decidedly anticlimactic. Insert your favorite aphorism about the journey not the destination. In this case, although I may in some sense officially have arrived, I still have work to do before they will give me the diploma. I'm in a sort of doctorate limbo. For the moment, though, I'll take it.

The "shock" that Dad referred to is some kind of reflex defense response. As I stripped away the details of my dissertation to pare it down to an hour's presentation, it felt decreasingly substantial and defensible. This must be the first part of the test. If you can still stand up there with confidence after reducing your work to something that you can explain in an hour, then they'll let you try to convince them that it was worthwhile. The result of the whole process is a somewhat confusing feeling that you simultaneously did both too much and too little. I think that must have affected my bearing for a while.

I'm spending my first week at Google here in Pittsburgh. Next Sunday, Nicole, Rachel, and I will fly to San Francisco. I'll spend that week in Mountain View for further orientation. Friday, October 24th, we'll fly to Honolulu, where I will present my Google internship work at a conference. We'll be back in Pittsburgh again on Tuesday the 28th, when Mom will join us for a visit. It should be an exciting three weeks!